"Where are my wife and daughter?"

Bloody-Disgusting is reporting a rumor that Robert De Niro has a role in Machete, the feature-length expansion of Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse trailer. I think that'd be awesome. One of Robert De Niro's last great roles was in Tarantino's Jackie Brown, and I think the atmosphere of a movie like Machete would be perfect for De Niro.

Then again, I don't know how he'd feel about taking on the same character Jeff Fahey once played, though. Thems be big shoes to fill.

Assuming all goes according to plan (and I think the internet is not holding its breath), Machete starts shooting in a few weeks with Ethan Maniquis taking main directorial duties (Rodriguez is co-directing in some capacity).

Marshall's Predators Doomsday imminent (?), but Antal has the Vacancy under Kontroll

Twelve days ago it looked like Neil Marshall, director of junk-food John Carpenter homage Doomsday and indie horrors The Descent and Dog Soldiers was in the lead to direct series reboot/sequel Predators for writer/producer Robert Rodriguez and 20th Century Fox, but now Latino Review is exclusively reporting that now Hungarian director Nimród Antal apparently has the job in his pocket.

Antal directed the American thriller Vacancy, which I wasn't a huge fan of but fellow, lazy TFP writer Matt Lingo liked, and he's responsible for the upcoming film Armored, which I thought looked like a glossy, direct-to-video potboiler awkwardly assigned a huge cast until I learned that Antal was behind it. That said, Antal also directed a really awesome film set in a Hungarian subway station called Kontroll.

Hmm...

Rob Marshall + Predators = Sure

Bloody-Disgusting says director Neil Marshall is in talks to pick up the reins of Robert Rodriguez's Predators. Sounds fine to me. I admit it, I really wasn't all that jazzed by The Descent, and I haven't seen Dog Soldiers, but even if Doomsday was warmed-over John Carpenter homage, Marshall's clearly got skills, and the idea of him working with Rodriguez seems like a solid collaboration.

Some people will ask why I've attached a picture of Rhona Mitra in Doomsday instead of a picture of a Predator or director Marshall. Those people are stupid.

Where the Hell is the Jetsons Movie?

A couple of years ago, famed director Robert Rodriguez made it known to the public that he was considering working on a couple of movies based on famous television shows. One was Land of the Lost, which was just released last week (and not directed by Rodriguez) while the other was The Jetsons, which Rodriguez was leaning more towards due to the script being further along. This, of course, proves that nothing is at it seems in Hollywood since The Jetsons was originally scheduled for a January 2009 release and has since been pushed back to 2012, and has no one attached to it except for a few malnourished writers and some producers who by now surely have a healthy respect for mind-altering substances. Land of the Lost, the movie that was further behind in production, is out and raking in money (more money than the non-existent Jetsons film, anyway, and despite how the critics may feel about that), but The Jetsons is about two hairs shy of being shelved. This leads me to a very important question:

Why?

There is no need whatsoever for this to take so long. With The Flintstones, the crew had to go to great lengths to bring Bedrock to life in such a way that made it look as if you were indeed watching the adventures of a modern Stone Age family set millions of years ago. But this is the freakin' Jetsons, for crying out loud! They're set in the not-to-distant future of 2062 and use flying cars, robots, and conveyor belts. How is this so hard to put together?! Most of the technology used in the show is either already here or not too far off, so surely the budget can't be that big of a deal. God knows Hollywood has enough cash to throw at Eddie Murphy, surely they could spare some for a movie that might be worth watching. It can't be a matter of casting, there's probably hundreds of actors out there who would be thrilled to try to be George Jetson or even just the voice of Astro, and I'm sure Hanna-Barbera would jump at the chance to make some more money, so what's the deal? Where is the progression of this film coming to a standstill? I've searched for answers but returned empty-handed and just a bit frustrated, because with Rodriguez at the helm The Jetsons could be a wholly entertaining movie with plenty of neat effects and a feel to it that's retro-futuristic, which is exactly how it should be. I want to see that movie, so where is it?

If this is Cogswell's fault, I'm going to bust a sprocket...