DVD: The Motion Picture! Coming Soon to a Theater Near You!

This is old news by now, but ComingSoon.net reported that Universal has won a four-studio bidding war to turn the arcade game Asteroids into a movie, and Hollywood couldn't even wait 24 hours to top itself with a View-Master motion picture.

Something the world at large seems to have forgotten but I never will is that they once announced a Slinky movie. Here's the report, from ComingSoon.net, years ago, reproduced because the site itself no longer hosts the article.

CGI-Animated Slinky Movie in the Works
Source: USA Today
Friday, January 2, 2004

According to USA Today, two studios are said to be interested in doing an animated movie about Slinkys, the popular toy that bounces up and down. Former Venezuelan child star Henrique Vera-Villanueva, the president and CEO of H2V Entertainment, is directing a CGI-animated feature tentatively titled Slinky: The Magic Quilt.

"We are creating a completely imaginary, full world all based on the Slinky," says Vera-Villanueva, who adds that two studios are interested in distributing his film, to be finished in 2005 for the 60th anniversary of Slinky's introduction. "It's a bunch of characters, some of them new, such as the Slinky scarecrow and the Slinky robot, some based on the property known as the Slinky Pets.

"The main character is a big Indiana Jones-type Slinky," says Vera-Villanueva, whose idol is director Tim Burton. "This character is on an adventurous quest, but it's a character-driven film, like Ice Age."

Obviously, Slinky: The Magic Quilt never came to fruition, so let's hope someone with more than two brain cells realizes that Asteroids and View-Master make no f---ing sense either.

I do want to see Ridley Scott's Monopoly, though. Please, make that.